Signally Confused

There are really a limited number of ways you can meet a new dating prospect. Of course there are millions of permutations…there are so many different ways two people’s paths can cross. But all of them can pretty much fit into two basic categories:

• Someone you already know
• Someone entirely new

Someone you already know might be a friend of a friend…you’ve run into them at parties a couple of times; or maybe you’ve even hung out once or twice. You kind of “know” them, even if the dating aspect is a new facet of the interaction.

Someone entirely new is just that. Maybe you met online, maybe they asked for your number after talking with you for twenty minutes at a random bar. Whatever the circumstance, for you they have NO CONTEXT.

And herein, for me, lies the problem.

When it is someone entirely new, I HAVE NO CONTEXT! I don’t know what their personality is like; I don’t know how they are with other people or how they are around other girls. I don’t know if they’re always that way, or if just with me. I don’t know if they’re a poseur or for real. I don’t know if they’re a superstar or a superdork.

Sure, sure. I know I should only rely on my own instincts and fairly give them every chance and analyze the situation with an open mind and blank slate. Yadda yadda. Ew. I just wrote yadda yadda. I’ll try never to do that again.

Anyway. My issue isn’t so much with whether or not I figure out if they’re a loser or not. I just don’t know what to do about reading the body language.

I went out with this new guy last night. Second night we’d met, first night we’d gone out. So far, I totally dig him. Intelligent, creative, complex, well-rounded, funny, cute (fuck cute, he’s hot!), warm, blah blah. Good things. A couple hours into the evening, he kissed me. And damn was it a nice kiss. Absolutely lovely, as a matter of fact. So throughout the rest of the evening, there was lots more kissing. Lots.

But it wasn’t that lusty, urgent, “I must have your panties in a bunch on my bedroom floor in the next twenty minutes” kind of kissing. It was passionate, yes, but it was also warm and tender and gentle. And it wasn’t just kissing, it was the arm around my waist, and the leaning into me and the cuddling while listening to a band play. Basically, if an objective observer had seen the body language between us, they would have thought we’d been going out much longer than just a first date.

THIS IS THE KIND OF BEHAVIOR THAT CONFUSES THE HELL OUT OF ME.

A big objective part of me says to just take it for what it was…nothing more than the enjoyment of bodies and closeness and all that jazz. But the primal, basic part of my brain feels that sort of body language, revels in it, but wants to know WHAT is this guy’s agenda?

Is he always like this with girls? Is he one of those super flirty super affectionate guys that leads women on not with his words, but with his actions? Or is he forthright? Perhaps he was truly feeling that kind of closeness. Was I the “pretend girlfriend” of the evening, hardly to hear from him again? Or maybe he is genuinely interested.

I’m not ACTUALLY stressing about this like the post makes it seem. But I was left wondering a bit after last night. It's strange...I'd know better where we stood if we'd just fucked. It's that sweet, sensitive stuff that I've never quite gotten a handle on.

Tricky thing, dating. Hell, getting to know ANYONE completely new can be uncomfortable. You never know quite where you stand for awhile. That tenuousness is so disconcerting.

All that being said…GREAT fucking weekend. Seriously.