So Many Thingies

I feel like I'm journaling all the time now. About everything. I always had this much going on in my head...I think I just chose to, if not exactly ignore it, then slightly deny it. But I kept busy.

These days I am woefully unproductive. So much energy is going into processing processing processing that I'm finding it difficult to produce. That leaves me feeling a bit shitty. My days seem to amount to very little. I've become great at getting "outside the house" stuff done--but not so much the things I really need to do.

I need to clean - recaulk my tub - refinish my marble - send various emails - write Xmas cards - make Xmas presents - paint - excavate my closet - pay bills - organize - print business cards - do other "businessy" things - keep up with FAM (not short for family) - stop eating - research - Bollocks. Loads of things. Fuck it.

Oh great. It's a full moon. Thaaaaat's great. What am I doing? Someone called me a loser last night. To my face. Well, over the phone. I think she meant it in a joking way; but she has no idea how it struck home.

Unrelated to that, but also to something else someone else did last night...shit. I can't get into details. Let me put it this way: Don't dick with me. Don't pretend to reach out and make contact if you're doing it just for appearances. Half-hearted bullshit is ridiculous and I DON'T APPRECIATE IT. Ass. What are you avoiding? I'll call you on your bullshit, you know. I expect the same in return, but don't think I'll let you get away with fooling yourself--or god forbid--me. I'm smarter than the average bear.