Disconnected Classy Thoughts

A Few Random Moments/Thoughts/Analyses From This Weekend's IIN...So Far:

If I hear "before IIN I was a [fill in typical boring-ass sob story here] but now I'm gloriously happy blah blah" one more freaking time I'm going to choke a bitch. I'm up to my eyeballs in tester-moan-ials. They're shoving IIN-esteem up our noses. I'm not snorting no more ya crazies! Koolade Koolade Koolade.

When was the last time you were in a "class" that continually applauded the professor? Forced fucking standing ovations. I swear some people leap to their feet so automatically. It's like seeing a Broadway show these days. The audiences stand and clap like little monkeys for just about any bloody performance. Where's the discretion people?!?

Not to therapize people--but okay, I do it all the time anyway--so, whatever. BUT. I feel so strongly how so many of my fellow students are motivated by fear and ANXIETY. The mad dash towards Super Student is insane! People have posted hundreds of posts on the Online Community, or the "OC" as it's called in IIN parlance. Some students have done dozens of Health History Consultations. One lady did 110. One Hundred and Ten. Seriously. Each of mine have taken about an hour. I've done 15. I can't imagine the time commitment necessary to complete 110 QUALITY HHs. But anyway.... There's this one chick who sits smack dab center front row EVERY time and volunteers to speak in the microphone EVERY time. Far too many chickies cheer like rabid football fans for anything anyone says. They're grade grubbing gold star junkies. Except we don't get grades. All of this triggers my own competitive instincts and brings up my anxious kindergartner who wants to do everything right and be teachers little pet. It's icky. And because it triggers personal shit for me, I'm less able to just not care and to simply let these people be. Rather, it bothers me and I want them to stop stop stop it. I want someone to admonish them for their crazy over-enthusiasm and obsessive behavior; not PRAISE it.

Isn't it interesting how so often exercises intended to increase positive thinking and build self-esteem seem to actually enforce the opposite of what their intentions are? "These exercises are so simple! If you do these 'right' you'll change your life and everything will be perfect. Oh...you did it and things are still difficult? Well, you must be doing it wrong. You FAILED them. You're not putting your whole self into it. You're not dedicated. You're obviously not destined to succeed."

ON THE PLUS SIDE:

I had lunch today with three awesome chicks.
This weekend held more solid information and less hype than last weekend.
I liked the people I ended up sitting near.
I got great seats yesterday and today.
Joshua made a point of affirming that we're all working our own program and reassuring the class that we needn't compare our involvement with others'. Additionally, he said that per all the complaints on the OC, they won't be doing the massive peer counselor testimonials or the Fast Track hard sell next year. That was pretty cool.

There's lots more that I've been thinking about and lots more I need to journal about but my brain is mushy and I need to go to Duane Reade before it gets so late that my butt permanently welds to the couch.