Oh, So THAT's What's Going On...

So.

The last two and a half to three weeks I've been a leeeetle nutso. Dealing with a lot of anxiety, some obsessive behaviors, old feelings. Basically coming up against yucky stuff that I couldn't quite explain. And I've been really hard on myself about it.

But my therapist reminded me today that I'm going to be seeing my mother in a few days. And that this is what it always looks like before I see my mother. And I always have stuff come up the two weeks after I see my mother too.

Doh.

How is it that I always forget that?!? I mean, this has been the pattern for how many years now? And each time it happens, I wonder where the hell it came from and what the hell is going on and all that junk.

Not to say I'm stuck in a neverending repeating pattern over here. It is always a bit better each time. The more and more aware I become, the easier it is to find the underlying stuff that's really going on.

I'm glad she reminded me, though. Because some of the pulls make sooo much more sense now. I'm regressing! Doi. I'm flying back to L.A. to go visit my mommy and daddy. Of course I'm regressing!

Knowing what's going on and forgiving myself for it makes it possible to address is and MOVE THE FUCK ON!!

Yay!