Okay, so any year that Lisa and I are together over the holidays, we make a Gingerbread House. But this, she is no ordinary Gingerbread House! No no. One year we had an alien crash landing in the back yard. Another year we made a big MAC truck and had Santa driving it. This year...it is the HOUSE OF SIN! THE DEN OF INIQUITY! THE...THE... It's lotsa vices thrown together with some candy is what it is.
So here we go...
Here is the front of our lovely home. Please note the references to Gambling, Alcoholism, and Smoking.
A close-up and overhead view of the front yard reveals our homeowner passed out naked on the front lawn. We also had a Gingerbread naked lady with a vagina made from black icing and a piece of licorice, but I broke her from making the Gingerbread people have too much sex and then I bit her legs off.
An angled view of the front and side reveal our despondent Mr. Snowman, who sadly hung himself from the chimney. Ah, we barely knew ye.
In homage of the dearly departed, we offer this close-up image of his final moments.
I apologize for the joke about the candy cigarettes on the roof. I'm just not very funny.
Poor Santa. Some nasty drug dealer came over to swipe some of the pot plant growing out back and Santa got in the way of the action. Dude cut Santa up with that broken beer bottle. That's just what you get when you roll wit us.
This guy was too fucked up to come to Santa's aid. Naked, passed out in his own vomit next to a pile of dog poo. That's classy.
I gotta say, though, that Gingerbread Guy was hot. I simply couldn't help myself.
This photo should never be looked at ever again.
Lisa looks pretty hot herself, what with ALL THE LEFTOVER GUMBALLS IN HER MOUTH AT ONCE! That's just gotta make you jealous of her lucky husband. I mean, look how far she can open that mouth of hers. Dayum!
But then she just spooges it all out.
This last pic is the worst of the bunch. This is what happens when a girl who never eats sugar...eats sugar! She gets totally high on that white devil and starts snorting things up her nose. Things that should never GO in a nose. Things like gummy bottles. That's just sick. And wrong. Why am I posting this picture again?
We are sick puppies and silly monkeys. But damn that was fun.
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