Okay, I'm feeling quite a bit calmer now. I'm still as angry as before (and justifiably so) but the aspect of rage has left me.
Although the blind fury is gone, I'm holding the anger awareness. It's appropriate. I would rather be rightly angry, directing the inevitable negativity towards the proper source, than run the risk of turning it on myself. If I neglect the anger, I might get sad or blame myself. I might even forget the content and context altogether and start feeling depressed or lacking in energy. I might fall into an ignorant self-hatred and slip into the kind of self-destructive behavior I am working so hard to avoid.
But that ain't gonna' happen.
I feel better.
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