Let's Do The Time Warp Again

Wednesday morning I lost all concept of time.

Everyone has had one of those moments where the alarm goes off, maybe a bit too early, and you can't quite grasp the fact that it's time to get up and start your day. Once when I was in college, I fell asleep really early and woke at 10:00. it took me at least a half-hour to fully understand it was 10:00 at night, not 10:00 in the morning. My mind understood it sooner than that...but my body didn't quite buy it.

But Wednesday was even weirder than that. My alarm went off at 8:15 (late morning day) and I just DIDN'T GET IT. I couldn't understand what 8:15 meant. I had lost the concept of time.

My morning was unmanageable. I couldn't figure out when I needed to get in the shower or eat breakfast. I had no idea when I needed to leave my apartment to get to yoga on time. It didn't make sense that I seemed to be running late, when I thought I had set my alarm for a time that would give me loads of wiggle room.

I grabbed a cab to get to yoga, thinking I was going to be ten minutes late. I got there twenty-five minutes early. That's when I finally snapped back to temporal reality. I got it! Class started at 10:30. I had needed to leave my apartment at 10:00 if I was going to walk, 10:15 if I was taking a cab. I needed to shower by 9:30, eat by 9:00, rise around 8:30. Suddenly the clock made sense again.

WHAT was that about? I was slightly disturbed that I had gotten so mixed up. But in truth, it was kind of fun to have absolutely no concept of time for a little while. Like when you say a word a hundred times in a row until your neuro-transmitters stop firing properly and "lamp" no longer holds any meaning. I was looking at the clock--thinking about time and schedule--and couldn't wrap my brain around it.

Maybe it's a clue for me. We tend to manifest what we need. Not what we want; what we need. Apparently I needed to take a look at my concept of time. What does it mean for time to pass? How do I feel about my age? About my daily schedule? About my "Life" schedule: my goals and achievements? Where do I need to relax my "time stress"? Where do I need to create more time structure?

Time is flexible and funky. It passes quickly or drags along. We waste it, we spend it, we want more of it, we lament how much as passed. We want to skip the Now to get to the Then, or we want to go back and live in the Then that never really was. I feel like I've been given an opportunity to redefine it all for myself. By losing my concept, I get to rebuild time. Wonder what I'm gonna' do with it.