It's An Update

Oh my God, two posts in one day? Is the world gonna' implode?

Yay. This is what I do when I'm sick of working and want to take a break, but don't want to leave my computer for fear I won't get motivated to return and continue chugging along.

I promised updates. Updates updates... *sigh* It's been...full lately.

I've been leading the fall cleanse this week. It has been an amazingly rewarding experience (as always) but it's also a lot of pressure. And of course I want to do it "right" and "great" and whatever whatever. But in addition to supporting all the people going through the cleanse (who can't or won't limit their support needs to the email group and have been sending personal emails and needing phone calls and such), a couple friends are going through a lot right now too. A lot a lot. Big a lot. So, many hours have been spent there too. I'm glad to be able to be there for people, I truly am. But I'm feeling quite alone right now. A few of my support structure - for various and sundry reasons - are not available to me right now. Overloaded themselves or simply absent, I'm unable to call them with my needs. Coupled with my increasing distance from my family (much needed, of course)...well, let's just say I'm very well aware that I am on my own.

I decided I needed to get back on coffee after 5 days without it. Day two sans caffeine was a BITCH. But my lightheadedness and near-blackouts came back when I was off the java. I think that the caffeine was keeping my blood pressure elevated to *normal* levels. Yay for the drug in a mug!

Good things on the career front: So many people are interested in doing the cleanse that I'm running it again in November. Plus, it's New! and Improved! Yippee. AND I have a new niche market I want to pursue. Not sure how to pursue them yet, but I'm puttin' it out there in the universe: I want to be the holistic counselor and Reiki practitioner that rock musicians turn to. I want to be called out to tour buses and have tattooed and leather-clad dudes laying on my massage table. I want to rock out at the shows and help them collect healthier snacks for backstage. How freaking AWESOME would that be? I'm puttin' it out there puttin' it out there puttin' it out there....

The weather on Halloween is supposed to be nice. Yay! Wasn't looking forward to freezing my ta-tas off. Not before slice and dice, ya?

Found myself lingering at the gym the other day. Bleah. What the fuck is up with THAT? I must like picking my own wounds, huh? No surprise I guess. Sometimes I annoy myself.

I'm also putting out in the universe that I need to find a freaking apartment!!! People are now becoming very drawn to my abode, but I can't find one that fits me. Eep! I gotsta'.

Kay, I'm not interested in writing about myself anymore. Ciao kiddies.

These Pics are a Couple Weeks Old But...

I thought I'd share. Been meaning to for awhile but have been bizzeee. Which is good. Next post will talk all 'bout that. Maybe. :)

We went a-partyin'. Yay!

Rani and I dance like freaks. We do. It's okay.

But at least we love each other...

Oh yes we do!

Like you needed more proof?

Sexy girlies! Me, Rani, and Rachel

That's more like it!

I swear to god I'm going to have T-shirts made that say "Mutual Admiration Society". It's ridonkulous.

So silly!

Kay, this is not as dirty as it looks. Oh, wait. Yes it is.

Yes, we are all laying on a bed. At "Bed". It's a New York thing. (More like a B&T thing, to tell the truth.)

Okay, this is as bad as it looks, too. Hee...

'Twas fun...

Countdown!

Countdown to slice and dice! December 5th is a mere 49 days away.

I realized I missed my own sixth month. October 11th was seven months.

Rockin.

Determined To Not Pay Up

Puttin' it in writing, puttin' it in permanence, puttin' it in public:

If I get sucked in again or involved again (and no, this ain't about the boy, this is something else ENTIRELY) then I owes ya' fifty bucks. I'm spittin' in my palm and shaking yer hand. Kay?

Chugga chugga

Whoooo-eeeee!

Dayum, I done got a fire lit under my ass.

Doin' lots of stuff, gettin' lots done. It pisses me off that the ass lit the fire, but at least the fire is lit. Then again, it's debatable whether that was the spark. I do tend to go in cycles, and most of this was set up prior to his involvement. And I do not approve of Machiavellian methods. Not in the least.

My clients are awesome. We've been having some really amazing sessions.

And now I do Reiki!!! My cooooool massage table just arrived yesterday, too. I am SO looking forward to client sessions. I think that's going to be another very satisfying venture.

I'm gonna' keep truckin', keep chuggin', keep on keepin' on.

I'm Curious...

Who lives in New Windsor, NY?

Just puttin' it out there....

Taking It Back

I came back from my Omega retreat feeling energized and empowered and lightened and enlightened and lovely and wonderful and glorious and sure. I wasn't completely whole or healed or fixed, but I was back in my power and feeling beautiful.

So of course that was attractive to him. He found it alluring and interesting. He was drawn to it like a (god forgive the trite cliche) moth to a flame. He was in awe of it, actually. Was in wonderment.

So of course he had to do everything in his power to destroy it.

So of course I let him.

Wait. I let him? I let him? I LET him?

How did that happen?

I'm taking it back. I'm taking it ALL back. Taking back my power. Taking back my energy. Taking back my glory glory glory. It is a sad sad human being who needs to destroy others to feel better about himself. He doesn't think he's cruel? Oh my god that is a laugh and a half. He's so unhappy...so fundamentally unhappy...so blind to that...so blind to his own inadequacies...so blind to himself. He claims he's driven to be a mirror for others, to hold up an honest look to others, but he's unable to see into the mirror and witness his own face.

Please remind me to let that poison be. Please remind me not to take that drug. Please remind me that I am better, so much better, than that.