Missing You

I miss my friend.

Davide Langs was a great love in my life. No, we were never "together" like that. He doesn't (didn't?) like the ladies. But he was a great love.

About two years ago (has it really been that long?) he had to go away for awhile. Read into that what you will...you're probably spot on. He returned, briefly, over a year and a half ago. Then he went away again. For a time, we managed to keep in frequent contact, despite international charges. I spoke to him one day and he said he was going to come back to New York in the next couple of weeks. That was the last I heard from him.

I discovered not too long after that call that he had been spirited away to a center in Switzerland. I figured he'd be there for a few months.

The months passed and kept passing. I managed to get some contact information and I sent him a letter. I don't even know if it got to him.

I don't know if he's still in Switzerland. I don't know if he's back in Italy. I don't know if he's here in New York. I don't know if he's dead or alive. I do know I can't seem to get him out of my head lately.

For a very long time I didn't think of him at all. Self-preservation I guess. But in the last few months, he has crept into my consciousness again in a disturbingly all-pervasive manner. I've dreamed about him and meditated about him and can't get him out of my mind. Everything I see reminds me of him. It's safe to say we were quite merged at one point. Last night I was at a play and I could have sworn he was sitting two rows in front of me. For most of the play, I didn't hear a word the actors spoke. After the curtain call, I slipped down to the man I thought was my friend and grabbed his arm. Of course it wasn't him. My adrenaline did not appreciate that moment of mistaken identity.

I miss him. I want to know where he is; if he's still on this planet. I've put phone calls in to everyone I know who might KNOW. They're not calling me back and I'm starting to think there may be a message in that.

My Brain is a Fuzzy Bunny

Yesterday and today...it has been very hard to focus. I have my fingers in a lot of pies, (please don't insert disgusting sexual jokes here. I insist I mean no metaphor.) and it's hard to keep track of it all. That boring old juggling image keeps coming to mind. Isn't there a better trite saying out there?

So, yeah. Fuzzy. Difficult to concentrate. Skipped yoga. Skipped Thought Exchange. Skipped responsibilities. Took a bath.

Perhaps day 2 sans caffeine might be partially to blame?

Grow Some Salty Balls You Hypocrite

So, Isaac Hayes quit South Park.

Purportedly, the man quit because he couldn't tolerate being on a show that couldn't tolerate others' religious beliefs. Or some such claptrap. Yeah. Making fun of "religious beliefs" is what put him over the edge. Of course, he didn't seem to mind when South Park made fun of the
Jews
Black People
Muslims
Alcoholics
Recovering Alcoholics
Developmentally Disabled
Physically Disabled
Transgendered
Christians
Elderly
Immigrants
Ill and Infirm
Fat People
Democrats
Republicans
Women
Gays
Pop Stars
Shit...I can't think of a group that South Park hasn't attempted to offend at one point or another.

That's the goddamn beauty of the show, people! Even though for me it has lost its luster over the years (maybe I've grown up or something silly like that) at least I could count on the fact that the creators of the show didn't discriminate...Because they discriminate against EVERYBODY! They don't make fun of just fat people or just Jews...they take the piss out of every population segment possible.

So. Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist. He's also black and fat and bald, but he didn't seem to mind when the show picked on those categories. And he didn't mind when a Virgin Mary statue bled out of its ass and he didn't mind when Cartman made fun of Jews on EVERY FRIGGING EPISODE. But, damn, you've crossed a line when you dare to pick at a pseudo-religious cult founded by a Science Fiction writer and followed by the looniest of the loons out in La-La Land.

I know I'm not saying anything new or noteworthy here. I know Scientology is freak central and we all think it's stupid for Mr. Hayes to have up and quit over such a lame excuse. It's just I'm finally personally offended. Hypocritical soapbox behavior is disgusting. Inauthenticity offends me more than anything else. Gross, Isaac. Gross.

Circuit City Sucks

Oh how they suck.

Suck suck suck.

I'm not feeling eloquent. Suffice it to say after over 2 1/2 months, I still don't have a working television set and it ain't about to spontaneously fix itself anytime soon. I wish I could sell the pile of crap and get something new! better! different! Because Sony blows as well. They suck. And they blow. That's talent, right there. That's what that is.

So, yeah. Sony and Circuit City.

You know, crap happens all the time. It annoys me, I deal with it, I move on. Sometimes I lose my shit and say horribly rude and mean things to the people over the phone like "I want you to stop talking right now. I can't stand the sound of your voice any more and I want you to transfer me to someone different. I don't care if they're going to tell me the exact same thing you're telling me, I just don't want to talk to you any more because I don't like you. Don't speak to me. Just transfer."

Mean, right? Embarassing.

But I didn't DO any of that with Circuit City. I really didn't! So why am I writing about this? Here's the reason: More people need to KNOW how horrible Circuit City's Service Center System is. Wow that's a lot of "s" sounds. Say it out loud, it's kinda' fun. I know I'm weird.

Don't ever buy the extended warranty that Circuit City offers!!! It is more trouble trying to get someone out to fix anything than it is worth. Trust me, you don't need the aggravation.

But I like to keep things a little even, so I'm going to share about some companies that are freaking AWESOME, because they deserve the kudos.

• Etymotic Research makes the best frigging in-ear noise-cancelling headphones EVER. And their service is beyond belief! Two examples:
• I lost my carrying case. I called them up to order a new one. The woman on the other end asked if I had tried the new ear flanges on my earbuds. I hadn't. She then sent me free of charge TWO replacement cases AND a set of the new flanges.
• I ran over my earbuds on the elliptical at the gym and broke 'em. Called them up. They could fix them for less than half what it would cost for new ones. I sent them in and got them back within ONE week. PLUS, they determined that even though they knew I had run over them at the gym, they felt the earbuds should still have been working, so they DIDN'T CHARGE ME FOR THE NEW SET. Seriously. How fucking incredible is that company?
• Not as amazing, but also pretty frigging fantastic: The staff at the Apple Store in Soho. They have to deal with an incomprehensible amount of assholes panicking about their computers and iPods and they STILL manage to keep their cool. Many of them also have kick-ass senses of humor and just pretty much kick ass all around. I'm talking specifically about MATT and FANYA here.
• Zappos is so cool. They have a million billion shoes online. They have reviews which (accurately) tell you if that particular style fits wide or short or whatever. They match or BEAT any other retail price (including online). They ship to you FOR FREE. Shoes always arrive like the DAY after I order them. Then, if you don't like the shoe, or it doesn't fit or whatever, you print out a FedEx label from their site, and you then you send back the shoes FOR FREE and they refund you 100% of what you paid. PLUS, as long as you haven't worn them outside, they refund your entire price up to a year after you bought them. You can buy a pair of shoes right now, keep them in your closet, never wear them, take pictures of them, whatever, and then on March 10, 2007 return them for a full refund.

So there are cool companies out there too. Just not Circuit City. Because they suck.

New York Courts Have A Hard-On For Me

Just got a thingy in the mail. A "survey" if you will. A "Jury Survey". NOT a SUMMONS, they were clear to point out.

However.

The survey bastard is the preamble to the summons. Did I NOT just serve in January? A mere LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AGO?!?! S'posed to be good for 4 years. Guess the government didn't get the memo.

Here's a fun aspect: In order to prove that I've served in the last 4 years, I'm supposed to send in a photocopy of my "proof of service". My service was so recent that I haven't even received that lovely Get Out of Jail Free Card in the mail yet.

I want to know why I seem to be at the top of the jury pool list. This is now the 5th time in the last 6 years that they've tried to call me in.

If only I had been this popular in High School....

Everything Is Ker-Fucked

My computer is dead. The hard drive is fried and is awaiting resurrection at the Apple Store. I'm paying them $50 to try and get my documents/movies/music/shite off the damn thing. I borrowed an ex's old (slow) laptop in the meantime. At least it works and I have internet access, even if I don't have any of my documents or blahdy blah.

But that ain't all.

My TV is broken. The image is all messed up. I already had a technician out here several weeks ago. He "fixed" it, but as he was trying to leave (after arriving over 2 hours LATER than then END of his scheduled appointment time) I realized it wasn't fixed at all. He reluctantly admitted that my image is crap and that he needed to order a part. I just got a call yesterday that the bloody part has arrived. The earliest available appointment is March 29th, at which point they will call me at 9 AM THAT MORNING to bless me with an appointment time slot. Which they will most likely ignore and show up whenever the hell they feel like it.

My cable is broken. (Unrelated to the TV) This is the 4th or 5th time that my DVR box has been broken in this same way. In the less than 2 years that I've even HAD DVR. The earliest appointment is next Friday from 8 to 12. I have a conflicting appointment then. Well, not anymore I guess. That'll have to be cancelled. When they replace my DVR I will once again lose all my saved shows and any shows I've scheduled to record.

My telephone is broken. More specifically, the headphone jack. It's still under warranty, but the only way to get it fixed is to send it in, at which time it will take about 2 weeks to be replaced with a "refurbished" one. What am I supposed to do without a phone for 2 weeks?

Both oven lights are out and I don't even know how to remove the bulbs in order to get them replaced. Plus the oven has been heating unevenly and I don't even know who to call to get that fixed.

The drawer on my butcher block is broken. It hangs to the right and I have no idea how to remedy that.

The lamps in my bedroom broke long ago. In fact, it has been almost a year that I have been without anything other than a small, dim bedside lamp to illuminate my room.

The light fixture in my bathroom keeps using up bulbs too quickly. I keep meaning to just replace the whole damn thing, as each bulb is about $20 and the fixture takes three of them. I can't seem to manifest that occurrence.

About 6 months ago, I bought caulking and marble refinishing tools to fix my bathtub and sink that are a mess. Guess what? Still a mess.

My toilet seat is broken. It has always been broken. It slides around. I had a plumber out to fix it once. Not only did he not fix it, but he broke a different, unrelated piece on the thing while he was at it. It's an electric, ridiculously expensive, strange commode. Normal plumbers seem to be flummoxed by it.

My vacuum cleaner broke last month. That's the only thing I've actually taken care of. I bought a new one.

What the fuck, dude? What. The. Fuck.