That's All? That's A Lot.

There are so many things going on...where to start?

I've been having houseguests lately. Well, just one repeated houseguest. And it's easy! First, they are a very good houseguest. But also, I'm not the neurotic control freak I once was. I recall far too easily the anxiety that would rise up when the possibility of a houseguest was in the works. "How would I have my morning? How would I watch TV? How would I go to the bathroom? (Okay, that one is still a problem. I get potty-shy.) Would they eat my food? Would they be messy? My life was going to be totally disrupted and I would never recover and I would die!!!!"

Yeah. I know. But that was the least of the craziness going on in this noggin.

So anyway, I don't feel that anymore. What a frigging relief! The ease is what makes me so happy. Of course having someone new in your house is a disruption...but it isn't a DISRUPTION. It's doable, manageable, and actually quite a bit of fun. I must say, I am more productive when someone else is around. I'm far less likely to be a lazy lump. Because it's embarassing.

Okay, what else...

Oh yeah...IT WAS ALWAYS HIM AND IT WAS NEVER ME!!! What a douchebag. Had a conversation yesterday with someone I should really try and avoid at all costs. Toxic doesn't even begin to describe him. But anyway. I always fall into a position of defensiveness and justification when I speak with him. What still pisses me off to no end is that when I first see him (or even someone who looks like him) my heart skips a little beat. But the very next second the words "giant cocksucker" float into my consciousness, so that's okay then.

I have so many things on my mind right now, it's hard to boil it down. And it's hard to remember to do everything that needs to be done. A partial list:

• Write back to the myriad friends who have emailed or myspaced or texted me
• File my DBA in NY (only a year late)
• Fix my finances
• Advertise (build a brochure, network, set up tables, utilize my connections and resources)
• Find and rent office space
• Find a buy a new apartment
• Do my bloody errands (lame shit like buying toothpaste)
• Shop for clothes (not fun. I don't like to shop but I have no clothes.)
• Research and prep my workshop (this entails so many steps I don't even want to think about it)
• Clean/straighten/organize everything
• Go food shopping. I have some old broccoli and kale in the fridge and that's about it.
• Try to remember all the other things I keep forgetting to do and finally do them so I don't stay up until 3 in the morning worrying about what I'm forgetting to do.

That's all.